Trampboarding – Not The Sexual Sport I Was Promised

Today we’re going to talk about trampboarding.

Let me begin with writing, how truly disappointed I am with this assignment. My boss and FingBing President and CEO, Dr. Harold Fingbing, told me NOTHING about this sport, merely saying “I want you to look into trampboarding, then post an article about it.” I imagined some glorious new sport, which involved either A) mounting a series of easy-to-get women or B) snowboarding with a twist, where the board was actually just a naked lady.

And I don’t see ANYTHING unreasonable about ANY of that.

Apparently, trampboarding is nothing more than skateboarding, only instead of having wheels under your board, you have a trampoline. Oh, and there are NO girls involved, which should have been obvious, as it was proven back in 1955 that the only chick who will ever be impressed by your skateboarding is your own mother:

Skateboard Escape

Back to the Future | MySpace Video

As any search on YouTube will show, the “sport” of trampboarding can apparently only be performed by young white teenage males between the ages of 13 and 17, and that being topless to show off one’s pasty-white skin is apparently recommended.

Even Go Skate Or Go Home, a website dedicated to bringing “the dopest skateboards… to you at the best prices,” dubs trampboarding in their blog as “the Complete Skateboard Spin-Off.”

The 2010 Census also discovered that a high majority of Trampboarders have spent or intend to spend a majority of their life watching NASCAR.