“Beam Me Up… I’m Covered!”

It’s important to cover yourself…. in every way possible.

Your insurance company understands this. That’s why they offer Alien Abduction Insurance.

That’s right, Alien Abduction Insurance. And yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like…. an insured person can make a claim in the event that they’re abducted by aliens. Typically they offer medical coverage, psychiatric care, and can pay as much as $20 million.

“Of course, the burden of proof lies with the claimant,” states the former Managing Director of British Insurance, Simon Burgess.

The first Alien Abduction Insurance policy was offered by the St. Lawrence Agency in Florida, when owner Mike St. Lawrence discovered his homeowner insurance did not protect him from the threat of alien abduction. The original policy costs a mere $19.95 annually for a $10 million payout. The company’s slogan: “Beam me up – I’m covered!”

Since opening, the company has paid out at least two claims…. which entitled them to $1 a year for a million consecutive years.

The most infamous use of Alien Abduction Insurance was in 1997, when London brokerage Goodfellow Rebecca Ingrams Pearson (GRIP) insured member of The Heaven’s Gate religious group right before their mass suicide. GRIP stopped offering the policy shortly after, though they do still offer insurance against “virgin birth, ghosts, transformation into a werewolf, and coverage for unfaithful husbands who fear ‘Bobbitting.’”